January 2, 2012
semester recap
Happy New Year!
I realize it’s been a while since I’ve had anything to say about my life. It’s not that it’s boring, per se, but the monotony does overwhelm me sometimes. At any rate, I thought I’d look back on this semester and attempt to draw out any conclusions/reflections that might be found before I forget it all. And truly, my brain is so stuffed I feel like things might be pouring out of my ears by now.
This semester kicked off with our annual boat trip on Lake Monroe, which is less than a 30 minute drive from Bloomington. It’s actually quite beautiful out there, an adjective I never would have thought to associate with Indiana 4 years ago, but age and maybe a teensy amount of experience has helped me appreciate things I didn’t in high school. The boat trip is our last hurrah before classes consume us with a vengeance, a time for the 1st years to bond by getting disgustingly drunk together and for the 2nd years to reconnect after a summer apart. It happened to be a beautiful sunny day and a good time was had by all, both drunk and sober. One hiccup involved a pair of impertinent 1st years who, probably after one beer too many, asked me if my boobs were real. I wasn’t sure if I should have been flattered or outraged. But as they probably didn’t even remember the exchange the next morning, I let it pass.
A pic of my friends and I prior to leaving for the boat trip. Notice how we’re not all Asian!
Now that we’re on block schedule this year (4 weeks of classes + 1 week of tests), my life is divided into 5 week chunks. The first two weeks of each block involve various levels of slacking off, and the last two involve various levels of scrambling to catch up. Although as the semester progressed, more slacking off occurred with less effort to catch up. By finals, I was completely apathetic towards exams and spent probably a good amount of time lounging around in bed and watching TV. Thankfully, and perhaps semi-miraculously, I still did quite well on exams, so that is a blessing I won’t take for granted. And while I do know I possess the sin of laziness in abundance, the end of this semester was more than about merely not wanting to do the work. 2nd year has been hard, but not in the “omg I’m so stressed” kind of way. It’s more like after running 25 miles in a marathon (not that I ever have), you know you only have a little bit more to go, and usually the finish line inspires a burst of adrenaline and you can sprint the rest of the way. But then someone jumps out and says “just kidding!”, you have to run another 26 miles after that! And that knowledge of a much longer road ahead, even though you’ve covered so much distance already, just psychologically and physically drains you until all you want to do is walk the rest of the way. And unfortunately for me, a huge hill still looms ahead as well (ie. the boards), so I pray I will have the energy to sustain that journey. I guess this is why they say 2nd year is the hardest.
A few bright spots this semester have been my trips to Boston to see Derrick. It cuts into the monotony of school and I know I can look forward to a visit at the end of every 5 weeks. It’s been an adjustment for him to be back in school again, although a welcome change for me as he has more time and I have someone to commiserate about studying with. I think our time together is better told through pictures so:
This is Halloween. I was a butterfly and he was a butterfly catcher, hence the net. If I recall the net was the life of the party. I giggle every time I look at this set of pics.
HBS has a winter formal called Hollidazzle, so I jetted over to accompany Derrick. If we were sending out couple Christmas cards, this would’ve been the picture in it.
After both our respective finals were over, we flew out to Las Vegas with a bunch of his HBS friends for a mini-vacation. They’re all cool people and hanging out with them feels just a tiny bit like college again. This is our “mafia family” picture.
Plus, we had an AMAZING view from our hotel balcony. We all stayed at the Cosmopolitan, which is a high rise built next to the Bellagio, and we had a magnificent view of the fountains. Absolutely unbeatable.
On the issue of relationships, medical school has not been kind to many people in our class. Most of my classmates who started 1st year with a significant other have all broken up by now, including a couple who had been engaged! I’m not sure if its the nature of med school itself, or other unrelated issues, that is the cause of all this. But med school for sure does not make being in a relationship easy, what with all the time we need to devote to our textbooks rather than people. The time required to invest in our studies (and future) unfortunately regulates social relationships to the back burner, and I imagine this can’t be healthy. This makes me ironically thankful (and I’ve thought many times how blessed I am and how God does provide in the strangest ways) for having a long distance relationship. We’re fortunate that we don’t have to deal with the huge issue that plagues couples who lead super-busy lives: “you’re not spending enough time with me!” So I’m thankful for this season apart (not that long-distance is easy…there are so many challenges that are simply different), but it’s also a season who’s end I look forward to.
I began typing this post in 2011, now finishing it in 2012. The arrival of a new year no longer seems as momentous as it used to be. But the celebratory marking of the passage of time reminds me to reflect, and look ahead. And every year, my heart is burdened and I am reminded of how I’ve stumbled in my spiritual life in the past year, but without fail, I feel God calling me back to him. It is strange how God’s voice speaks to me the loudest during this time, but perhaps it’s because my conscience is turned inward and the clamoring outside has quieted for a short time. Ecclesiastes always comes to mind too (a book I love for its depth and mystery): life, and the passing of time, is all meaningless if the heart is not seeking after God. How thankful I am that I can be reminded of this every year! There is so much to look forward to in 2012 (foremost in my mind is the end of 2nd year and beginning of clinicals). I know I say this all the time, but I do hope to blog more regularly. I realize as I get farther (in time) from college, the easiest way to maintain continuity with friends is through blogging. Thank you! to my friends who allow me to live life with you in this way.
May 7, 2011
1 down, ? many to go
I’m done with first year of med school!! Was actually finished this Tuesday, but I’ve been too busy being a couch potato to write anything. It was only recently when I was looking through graduation pics of senior friends that I was like “holy crap! It’s been one year since I graduated.” It certainly doesn’t seems that long at all, but seeing younger kids in cap and gown impresses on me the time that has passed since I was in that position. Of course, that inevitably takes me back down the road of nostalgia, and I can only say that I’m glad I’m going back to Old Nassau this year for Reunions.
But First Year, yes you are done. All in all, it was a good time. I did very well in my classes, made some good friends who I love hanging out with, and found a church where I love the pastor’s sermons. Plus, our small class of 34 has really become like family to me: meaning in it, there’s the crazy one, the lazy one, the one you know you’ll always have a good time with, the chatty one, and a couple of oddballs. But we’ve all bonded this past year, and I’m excited to move on to 2nd year with these people. I’ve really come to see how doing med school in Bloomington has been a blessing. Nevertheless, I’m super ready to have a blast this summer, the last big break I’ll get for who knows how long…
August 5, 2010
down memory lane
So I came back from China not only with a lot of new (ie. recent) pictures, but with a bunch of old ones too. My paternal grandfather had been digitizing a lot of old pics, like from when I was a baby, even back my dad’s baby pictures, most of which I’ve never seen before. And I remembered sometime during senior year (or was it before?), there was talk (among who? i don’t remember) about seeing each other’s baby pics. So I thought I’d share. And maybe if you’re nice, you’ll share too after you read this. 
June 11, 2010
helloooo world
well, it’s the beginning of the summer, and (if i dare say it) the beginning of a different life. moving back to the Midwest means going back to the old but also probably something new. i’m not a person that deals well with unwanted change and i also easily get attached to places and people that hold special meaning. the past 4 years at princeton will soon be a memory, and i’m scared and sad for what that means. i’ve said bye to almost everyone that has been important in my life these past years, and as i soak up my last days on the east coast, my heart breaks for what i will leave behind. so far, this heavy sense of nostalgia has prevented me from moving forward. medical school should be exciting but i’m still hard pressed to feel excited. this old world’s pull on me is still so strong…i feel as if i will see my friends again tomorrow, even though half of them are scattered around the world by now. i feel as if i will soon take the train back to princeton and set up residence again in spelman. this end does not feel like and end yet. but perhaps that’s what the summer is for. isn’t summer kind of like a limbo state: between two school years, two places, two worlds?
i love this place too much to say goodbye. or rather, it is the people who make the place…so i make a promise to myself, my friends: as long as the people i love are here (east coast, princeton), i’ll be back.
November 17, 2009
senior year: lessons 2 & 3
This is a bit overdue, but enough epic-ness happened this past weekend that I need to catalog it. Mainly: I had two near-death experiences within 48 hours.
1) the blazing inferno that erupted in our kitchen. pot, oil, flame, water…kabooom. need i say more? water and oil obviously don’t mix. i’m just glad i came away with only some singed hair.
2) eating a whole jar of nutella (ok, this might not really be near-death, but for about an hour it felt like it). i don’t know WHAT possessed me to challenge bk to an eating contest, me with a jar of nutella and ben w/ french onion dip. oh yeah…it was the bebabo. let’s just say i learned my lesson about mixing sugar with alcohol.
November 1, 2009
retreat
I guess this is the obligatory post-retreat post where I summarize my thoughts/emotions over the past week + reflect on the year so far. It’s good cause it forces me to sit down and think about my life, something I don’t naturally feel the inclination to do normally.
Today, when we were letter-writing, I found it hard for words to come to me. There wasn’t terribly much I wanted to say, which sort of characterizes the way I felt (have been feeling). Well…no, not really, cause I’ve been feeling a lot. It’s just been difficult to translate into words, and also in the sense that I don’t quite know what I’m feeling. Haha…so vague and not helpful, I know. But yeah, I don’t really know how I felt this retreat. It seems to pass too quickly, and I didn’t get to experience any one thing in a deep way. Things just seemed to pass, and I rode along with the flow. I can’t say I felt broken, euphoric, or even deeply affected by anything. Usually (especially during praise or prayer time) there is some instant during retreat where I experience something deep that makes my heart hurt (either in a good or bad way). That didn’t happen this weekend and I’m not sure what to think of that. I also usually end up bawling at some point, because of that heart-feeling and that also didn’t happen. Well, I cried, but that’s a given, cause I’m a leaky faucet and cry almost every time someone prays for me. But in general, I guess I’m kind of ambivalent toward the whole weekend. In some respects sort of disappointed that certain conversations didn’t happen that I wish could’ve happened, or the lack of hanging out with people who I wished I could’ve hung out with. But I really appreciated the experience of nature…even though it was rainy and gross on Saturday (and I had wanted to take a walk in the woods given good weather), there’s something incredibly calm and soothing about being out in the rain, amongst the trees and leaves. There’s a certain stillness and silence that comes over nature during rain, but its filled with sound at the same time. Hard to describe…but this summer in Honduras really developed my appreciation for the natural world. Hmmm…yeah, so I don’t really know what to think of this weekend. But it was good. I enjoyed it
October 12, 2009
the last three days
Monday’s almost over!! Yaaaaay. This point of the week is always my collapse-and-don’t-move/think-until-I’ve-gotten-20-hours-of-sleep routine. Which usually means, I don’t re-activate until Thursday, and then the cycle restarts all over again. Why must I perpetuate bad habits??
This past weekend was probably the most relaxing thus far. No Triple 8 drama (thank GOODNESS!), got my pset done before 4 am Monday morning (2:30 am, but still an improvement), and most of all, the alums came to visit!! Michelle, I still didn’t get to see enough of your lovely face!! But it was nice to catch up with D-rock (hahahahaahah 
), the other DL, Joung, and RB. They make me feel young again Ha, jk jk. It’s just always a great reminder of the awesome Manna community we have even outside of the university…makes me excited to join the alums soon! On the other side of the spectrum, the freshmen are uber-cute. Even though we (the uppers) totally dominated them at the upper-under bball game, they’re so enthusiastic and just…cute! AND they go to 8 am prayer meetings…props to them.
My fave picture of the weekend:
Hahahaha…ooh, grand little sib, you are funny.
September 1, 2009
photo dump + what I’ve been up to for the last 2 weeks
Went peach picking in Michigan with Matthew. His chubby cheeks are so pinch-able, I just want to hug him all the time.
Then Alan came to Chicago and started off the “let’s jet around the country and see all our friends before school starts” marathon. We met up with Joung and Janice in the city. It was nice to see these people again, especially the alum . It’s always kind of weird to think that they’re in the “real world” now, and in one year, we’re going to join them.
We went to Millennium Park, where the big reflecting bean is. Can you find us?
We also went to Shedd Aquarium, a place I hadn’t been to since elementary school field trips. I found a fat ugly frog stuck against one of the display glasses. I think it was dead. Poor froggie.
Then the Tays came to the Midwest!
We HAD to do something farm-ish, so I took them peach picking again. Luckily, raspberries were also ripe so my brother had a blast eating those. Isn’t he cute, hehe.
We took a mini-road trip to UIUC to visit their classmates from Singapore. That also happened to be where my family lived while my dad was going to grad school. It was another weird experience of revisiting the past. This is one of the buildings on campus and there’s a picture of me when I was ~6 (?) sitting on the steps of this same building.
I also got to revisit the old apartment where we used to live. Not much has changed in the past 1.5 decades, although the playground equipment has been updated. I could still point out where the school bus would pick me up every morning and the vegetable patches in the distance where we had our own garden.
It was a good trip Got to meet lots more Singaporeans (I feel like I know half the country by now, haha), and Karen and I practiced our cooking skills the last night we were there.
It’s been a nice week of relaxation and shirking on my applications. I have one left to do (JHU) = 2 more essays + $75. Sigh…applying to med school is so expensive. Maybe I can milk one more day out of my pseudo vacation-from-work, and then I’ll get back to writing again…
August 26, 2009
blast from the past
On a whim I got out my high school senior yearbook last night, mostly because I had this niggling thought that I forgot who our Prom king and queen were and it was bothering me. I ended up reading it from cover to cover, including the notes that everyone writes to each other at the end of the year. Wow, what a trip back down memory lane. There are so many people I’ve never even thought about since we graduated, lots of people I’ve forgotten even though their names were commonplace 4 years ago. Friends who wrote “keep in touch!” w/ their phone number, but whom I haven’t talked to since. All the pictures of life in high school bring back fond memories: pep rallies, Student Council banner painting sessions, blowing bubbles from the balcony during Ms. Nic’s AP Lang class, and the countless times we dressed up for Spirit Days (I was a ninja turtle, Harry Potter, Roman citizen, pirate, nerd….the list goes on). That’s probably one of the biggest things I miss about high school, the school spirit that couldn’t help but make you excited for Friday and getting decked out in black and gold. Sure, Princetonians have school pride, but that’s mainly because of our status at the top of US New’s Best Colleges list. We don’t dress up weekly en masse in orange and black, paint our faces and go rampaging around campus screaming at the top of our lungs. That’s what happens at big state schools like U of M or IU. Sigh…I miss that sense of excitement.
And me…I looked pretty different back then too. My hair! I didn’t remember it being sooooo long, but there’s this one pic in the yearbook of me and another girl with hair down to our butts. We both donated a foot to Locks of Love. Also, I think I was chubbier…or at least my face was. I’d like to think I look better now than I did 4 years ago.
I guess the overall sentiment I was left with after I finished flipping through (it took me 2 hours!) was: Wow, I miss high school!! I wonder if looking through our Princeton yearbook (do we have one?) 4 years later will bring me the same sense of nostalgia. Probably not, but I mean that in a good way. Relationships and experiences are different in college, less cohesive in general, but the ones that matter are much deeper and more meaningful. And it’s cliche I know, but there’s a loss of the innocence we had in high school. The real world seems so much closer now.
If only we could stay forever young.
